trust, dylan, papa.....

Papa is up and at 'em this morning. Going to go into work today. He'll be done with his antibiotic's today. He better take it easy! Do you hear that papa???? Do NOT overdo it today. Pace yourself. My mom sounded terrible yesterday. Hope she sounded worse than she feels. Stupid cold!

Only 3 more days of work this week. What a long week. And today is my long day at work. And I go for my job interview on my break. I read my book yesterday at work. I recommend this book so far! So much is hitting me. If any of you know me.... I am not a bundle of security. Things in my life have happened to create this very insecure human. While reading this book.... it is helping me to understand my trust issues. I don't trust. This book says "Trust is a fruit of a relationship in which you know you are loved." I read that and just had to sit and ponder it for awhile. Really stop and think about it.... and it really hit me that I really don't know that I am loved. Not really. You would think at 52 years old I would know it. But through hurts (some I created and some I did not) .... I don't. It also said "You were created to be loved....so for you to live as if you're unloved is a limitation. Living unloved is like clipping a birds winds and removing it's ability to fly. Pain has a way of clipping our wings and keeping us from being able to fly. And if pain is left unresolved for a very long time.... you can almost forget that you were ever created to fly in the first place (be loved)." I know this stuff seems kind of deep.... but it really makes you think. I wonder how many people out there do not know they are loved.... truly know in the depth of their being? I wonder how many have trust issues. I love people unconditionally .... I believe. But love back at me seems so conditional to me.... if I don't measure up I won't be loved. Truth or not.... that's how it feels to me. Maybe that is why we can't go by our feelings. Now... I hope as this book is revealing things to me... it will help me to figure out how to feel secure in the truth. Enough of that....

On a lighter note... have to read Karla's blog. We are all so proud of Dylan! I tell you.... we have really smart grandkids.... with Andrew getting strait A's on his report card and now this with Dylan! And them wanting to move Lauren up to 1st grade reading. Wow! I could just go on about these kids! They amaze me. Of course, I would adore them no matter how smart they were!

I haven't finished this blog and papa has decided to stay home from Bangor. He said he'll go to walmart this afternoon. He's already tired from getting ready.

Well.... I guess that's about all I have to say. Except happy birthday to Sandy Lingo Foster! I know her age because she's exactly 10 years older than me... whoops! lol! Papa keeps talking to me!!!! I can't write any more!!!!!