I am posting again today so I bet you are surprised! I've had a pretty good day today. A lot of self examination this morning. I was really depressed last night. I just keep gaining weight. Getting further behind in life. Life is just going by me and I am wasting every day. Not only am I ashamed....I feel defeated and like such a failure. I start over and start over and start over. Only to fail. Why? I still don't have an answer except I am lazy and don't seem to care enough about myself? I really needed to talk to someone this morning. Didn't have anyone. Then I met Marcey at Starbucks. It was nice. I did a lot of thinking before talking with her however. This is how my pathetic day goes: Coffee & computer time, Papa makes me breakfast and brings it to my chair and I set my laptop aside to eat. Then he takes away my dishes. Lunchtime he makes lunch and brings it to me and I eat. Then he takes my dirty dishes. At dinner it is the same thing. Then it is bedtime. I feel I have no purpose in life. So talking to Marcey was awesome. She has always been my biggest supporter besides my mom. I need the encouragement. I need to know I have some worth in life. She said I am wasting my gifts. She said I am compassionate, caring, and have the gift for making others feel special. Probably because I believe people are special. Everyone is one way or the other. But how do I use this? I used to help a lot of seniors but they are all gone. All the ones I loved are gone. It is hard for me to get close because it hurts so much when they go home to the Lord. Seniors are such an important forgotten group in our society. And then there is children. I love children! I really do. They are amazing too! And so special!
I don't know what to do. Marcey is praying for me and I am praying for God to give me direction.
Lauren and Jonah make me laugh every day. Jonah says the most random things. He is so funny....without meaning to be.
Today is Kassi Hill's birthday! Happy birthday Kassi! Her parents are 2 of our best friends!!!! Great family!
And it is Neil Sedaka 74th birthday today! Can you believe he is still performing everywhere! Did you know his cousin is singer Eydie Gorme?
2 comments:
Hi there dear Joyce! Age is messing with my weight too:) I know it has to be age, right? I am happy that you got to spend some time with Marcey, friends are the best to help us thru tough times! Keep on keepin' on sweet friend! Each day is a chance to change what isn't right in our lives! I have changes to make in my own:) HUGS!
awww.. Joyce, As long as you keep on starting...you are still battling. In the BIG picture...or the war...there are many battles that have to be won or overcome... some we lose and it's a setback. others we win and it's a huge move forward. To win the small battles, you have to know the enemy's tactics and fight there. Know where your weakness is and concentrate there for a week. The enemy could be sweets, breads, eating out too much...or not enough activity per day....concerning the WAR ON WEIGHT!!! Believe me, I'm right on the same field with you right now, just in a different part of the country. :-) And as dear Theresa said. THIS MID-LIFE season is doing a number itself. THAT is an enemy for women right there. our hormones that used to keep things regulated and working up to par are dwindling, and woah Nellie...things are no longer working like they are supposed to in the eat less, exercise, and lose weight department. It is VERY frustrating. Pick ONE thing and ramp it up this week. Then ramp up something else the next...One step at a time, one week at a time,. ONE pound at a time...yes? RAH. (Hugs) and cheers for you...My computer is broken, so I am down and out, but trying to check in thru Kurt's laptop some. saw your post via FB! KEEP ON. ***Draw up your battleplan, and get it down on paper. that helps. xoxoxo
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