I've been back to work for 2 days. Seems like a week. I can normally separate the personal life from work....but yesterday was a very agitating day for me. There are changes and rumors of changes going on at work and mostly I think it was because yesterday was a week since mom went home to Jesus. I had a major meltdown last night. Huge. I was at work and it Veronica came and distracted me. Which was wonderful because I was getting very tense. She helped with Niko and his brother Benji. I love her!!!! She was a godsend to me. When I left the center....I got stuck in traffic. The bridge was backed up half way up the hill to Hilltop! If you know the area at all... it's 3 or 4 miles still to the bridge. And we were not moving. Finally I drove down the side of the cars and turned right on Big Valley and went through Kingston. It was very frustrating and I was already edgy!!! Got home and papa had burnt the fish. So that made him crabby and he kept asking me what I wanted...I didn't know!!!! I told him that 10 times...every time he asked. And I didn't care. All I could think of was mom and how much I missed her. Finally I took a pillow from the couch...went out to the porch swing... hugged the pillow and cried like a baby! I couldn't help it. I miss her so much it hurts!!!! I can keep it together for the most part.... but not always. I was pretty numb the rest of the night. Sat and "watched" that stupid "Wipe Out" show with papa.... he likes it.... and I mostly watched the clock until it reached 8:58....when mama left me. Yes, I kind of feel that way to be honest with you. Then I went to bed and slept like a rock until 5:30 this morning.
I got the nicest surprise when I walked into the class Wednesday... this sign:
Karla was at my house in the morning while I was gone.... she was making a nice memorial program for mom for the reception. I can't wait to see it. I know she did a good job. Pastor Joel was doing one for the service upstairs but we wanted some thing more personal for people to take home. I wish it was all over.
Have a great Friday! I am so glad it is here!
1 comment:
What a sweet sign:) Kids really make a bad day better! I wish I could be there for you! I have been so sad that I NEVER got to meet your Mama, I know that we would have enjoyed each other so much! Take care of yourself and remember that when you are at the service tomorrow... my heart is right there with you! Love you!
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