Debbie Downer reporting in today.

TODAY:  This is actually a very wet Wednesday.  Drizzle, drizzle, drizzle. here all day long.  This week the weather is suppose to be:

Alyssa has her last home game today.  I am doubting if it will be with the ground being so wet. But we'll see.  And then Lauren has a basketball game right after.

Which brings the reason Debbie Downer is writing this blog today.  Yuk!!!!  Keep reading if you're interested... say goodbye if you're sick of hearing it about my health.

The last couple months have been very difficult for me.  You don't even know.  I try to keep a happy and laughing face around the family....especially my grandkids.  No worries, right?  But the symptoms I have been dealing with have been miserable.  Besides my lumbar arthritis in my back getting worse as time goes on....the dizziness is worse, as is my right ear (pain, plugged, can't hear, popping, swoshing, neverending).  Now I have deep depression.  I felt it coming for a while but now my doctor is messing with my medication to help me.  Now, if you don't understand what depression is....it isn't just about feeling down and snapping out of it.  I used to think that with my mom when she had it.  I would get frustrated with her wondering why she just doesn't "choose" to be happy!!!!!  After suffering with it myself for several years I understand it is much more than you think.  Being depressed is a symptom of depression...a brain screwup.  The "mental" symptoms have been: sadness, lack of worth, emptiness, agitated beyond normal, anxious, grouchiness, and no interest in anything.  "Physically" I am so tired... exhausted all the time, space out a lot and can't focus, headaches and vision problems (blurry), diarrhea, sick stomach, body aches, tired out doing the smallest things, sleep problems (waking up 10 times a night and wanting to sleep ALL the time....which if you  know me at all, you know that is not me!)
The doc put me on a new medication last Tuesday. This Tuesday I had to double it.  Now we are waiting to see if it helps.  Praying something does. She will be calling me next Tuesday.

I just wish I had more compassion for my mom years ago...when she went through menopause and was getting older (which sucks by the way).  I don't have the energy to even be 59!  Seeing your health fail and your friends and loved ones die off is depressing in itself. But you wonder "Is that all there is?"  "Am I suppose to be doing something else?"  Will the Lord enable me to do what he wants me to do?  My kids are SO busy raising their kids and they are doing amazing jobs!!!!  My grandkids are busy growing up and don't have as much time for me.  I get it.  I regret not making the time for my mom now.

Well, that was my Debbie Downer post.  It will be good to look back on this when I am healthy. I will get there.  Some parts of me are healthy. lol!

Pictures from years ago cheer me up....and make me sad. Fickle...

My baby boy Kevon at 4 months old....taken 5-13-78!

Kevon, Madi and Dylan 5-13-2004

All 10 of the 5-13-2006

The 5 oldest being monkeys in my tree!

Well, I already wrote down what is going on this week and last week.  Nothing much has changed. Oh....but the coolest thing happened to Andrew.....1. He started his new job at a coffee shop and loves it! Learning to be a barista!  2.  He was at a church Sunday night (which I won't name) and Russell Wilson was there.  Andrew isn't a big football fan but was kind of in awe of him when they passed in the foyer later. They are the same height but Andrew said he is muscular and super good looking. He said they were SO close their bubbles touched.  lol!  Good for him.  Maybe he will become a Seahawk fan now????

Ok....my drama is over for the day.  Now I just don't answer my phone, stay off my computer and go take a nap.  I hope you have a great day (whoever is reading this!)

Oh, I almost forgot! Good news:

"Chai and Bamboo arrived safely around 3 a.m. Wednesday at the Oklahoma City Zoo and Botanical Garden. The animals will undergo multiple checkups and will be quarantined for 30 days before joining the other five elephants at the zoo.

"Both Bamboo and Chai looked great this morning," said Dr. Jennifer D'Agostino, the zoo's director of veterinary services. The female elephants ate snacks including watermelon, cantaloupe, raisins and hay; enjoyed sand baths; and explored their surroundings, she said."

My Rhodies!